Can't believe that i'm flying off in less than 72 hours. Perhaps, it's time for a slight breather. It seems to me that the past year has been work and work and all work. Though amidst the debilitating labour I have been able to find bits of self-fulfillment or accomplishment, I barely enjoyed myself this year. Maybe the next 11 days from Wednesday onwards can bring me some lost joy. I don't think I spent enough time with friends, and hence I hope this trip makes up for it, to the certain few that probably matter lots in my life. I'm sorry to others who endear to me as much as those certain few do. This trip cannot accomodate for so many people. I'll make up for it. 

I'm leaving myself behind. I will be different once I step out of the Boeing 777, for 11 odd days. Then when I come back, things will end, good or bad. No love lost man, just that it's about time to conclude, good or bad, what seems a less than hopeful one-sided tussle of romance. But before this "coming back", everything will be ecstasy! We will have fun together. We'll make great tutors.

If you want anything, let me know. I can't promise nothing, but I'll deliver if it's within my limits. 

Anyways, the flight details: SQ818 0755 T3, IF you need HAHA.

See you soon

oh yea! after a hiatus due to my peculiarly lackadaisical self, i can say i'm back at blogging. i wouldnt consider the past few weeks(if not months) to be a rollercoaster ride, but i'm sure much happened and they can get as bizarre as you can imagine, though i would barely share some of them here.

i despair at the glimpse of my end of year results. it's ridiculously far from what i set out to achieve. but i cannot complain much, because i believe effort and result is engineered in a directly proportional relationship. i havent put in sufficient effort, and henceforth the yield tells it all. i cannot promise myself to bounce back to top tier of the cohort immediately next year, but i will find the discipline to peg back what missed out through the year. i dont think i can attribute the cause of the dismal results to council or any other involvement(either social/academic) for that matter because if someone who is in the same circumstances can grind out time, why didnt i? well whatever it is, i will do something about it. i'm anxious about next year. i find myself over-committed, but i dont wish to drop any of the commitments now coz i'm either obliged to be/in love with them.

anyways, if anyone out there came for maf, thanks alot. oh yea, scream too. i was actually quite bored in the maze for scream.(btw, i hid at the corner with dummies)

there is something that i feel so fervently compelled to discuss, yet i just cannot seem to recall what it is. maybe the next post i will remember. till then good night, and i will be really surprised if any of you still comes back to patronize my on-a-long-break blog. (okay shit, gotta settle chinese, pw & sat)

life has been mundane as it used to be, so i havent got much purpose in blogging about the every minute bits of my brilliant life(how sarcastic i am to myself man).

two things, there are two things that have set me thinking, again. and splendidly, these two things are both bringers of resolutions, to my life problems.

firstly, it's about discrimination, between two reasons to feel, that often perturbs guys. do you like/feel for things for what they appear to be, or what they really are? that has been a resounding thought, or rather question in my mind. i've gotta figure that out, and so should many gentlemen out there. think about it.

secondly, it's about something that i read, not so long ago. (well, just a couple of hours ago, from someone who probably doesnt wish to be identified at all) it tells me: dont worry always, some people never stop finding reasons to be sad, i should choose to be happy and always keep my head up. there's gotta be somewhere i'm gonna make a difference. stand up & speak up. thanks, i appreciate your words, if you read my blog at all. i, fully, get what you mean:D

nothing much about my life to blog about actually. it's been normal. friends, we can always talk so it's needless for me to update you on the little happenings of my humble life. (now this sets the contrast from the beginning)

good night!

hey you know it's just fucking(pardon my expression, it has to be this radical, trust me) depressing, disappointing and disparaging when you don't recover well from an injury, especially after laying so much effort into procedures like surgery, physio, rehab. i still have a little faith in myself and won't give up that easily i guess. i want to pull through this and return to full fitness, however challenging and time consuming the process.

good night

treasure what you have and don't get hurt. when you do, you find it hard to come back.

well i'm feeling empty, not that there was much possession to begin with anyways. just that it's like the episode is ending and fading away. it's synonymous to some movie aftermaths where you indulged all your senses in the film so much that when you turned your back on the theatre, you probably felt and remembered nothing. it just feels similar here and there. i dont know just yet, maybe another chapter might unfold(or the producers plan to shoot an extension), just as the many trilogies out there that surfaced unexpectedly. by the way, emptiness doesnt equate nor is it inclusive of sadness.

haha i touched football for the first time in about 5 months. it's a little rusty i guess. and i dont deny that i still carry this horrific baggage of the acl rupture and fear to do certain things. i'll gradually work things back, though i'm not even past my rehab period yet.

bye!

empty, for me, is like losing touch of what has happened and gaining nothing of what's going to happen, soon.

essay question of the day: when do boys turn into men? justify your answer.

Boys are not vastly different from men. But there often lies the necessary, yet covert, distinction between a boy and a man. In the physical aspect, a man is perhaps a homosepians who's after his puberty while a boy is one that has yet to experience or is experiencing it. And it is this physical tender, of a boy, that usually belies the maturity of thought and actions in them. Also, while certain actions such as beginning to drink, party etc can seemingly suggest the boy-man transition, it sometimes does not apply to all. Nevertheless, a combination of traits can be telling in differentiating a boy and a man.

It is fairly justifiable to note that boys do proceed into manhood, based on the fact that they have undergone the physical evolutions. The dictionary states that a man is: a mature adult male, while the definition of a boy is: an immature male. The words "mature" and "immature" here are assumed to suggest the state of physical maturity, none more than anything else. And we do realise that this has been an orthodox consideration for differentiation between boys and men, in our society today. In Biology classes, kids are taught the infant-boy-man cycle. That's just a tip of the massive iceberg. Others include personal identifications based on age differences, legal age cut for certain activities etc. Evidently, the very first distinction, lying between a man and a boy, is the physical inferiority of the latter to the former.

If people were to take only physical considerations in determining the status of an individual, it will be laughable. While nature ensures that a 10 year old is entirely different from a 20 year old in height, weight, muscular complexity and sexual capability, no one can predict the mental and cognitive aspect - which is something that is arguably the ultimate deciding factor between a man and a boy. (EXAMPLES)

A man leads a different life from a boy. But the lifestyle always the determinant for differentiation? Certainly not. For instance, it is trite to note that young lads begin the cosumption of alcohol as young as early adolescence. While boys' behaviour can be synonymous to that of a man, but litte do people realise that with the same actions, a man and a boy can bear different consequences. And this applies to almost every single aspect of life, especially in the legal aspect which requires no further elaboration. Also, a man, when married and has a family established, is provides for further distinguishing from a boy because of the responbilities they carry in their lives.

(CONCLUSION)

while i crapped the above, it sometimes makes me wonder to what extent i am already a man? have i been able to measure up to the expectations of one? i may have done what a man often does, but that isn't going to make me man. i reckon there's much more to learn before i've got a counterpart in my life and eventually a family. and that's going to happen if and only if, i deserve it when i one day becomes man.

*****
well, all that trash talking about man aside, my life's been rather fulfilling these couple of days. peope blog a lot about blocks, so i shan't blog about it any further.

he just loves blocks. (that's his study)

after blocks, i was at leonard(the CUTE boy)'s house for a super late-night mini party. below tells you why he's so CUTE haha:

now you know why? (but trust me, he has much that belies his amateur appearance)

yesterday, three men went on a mens' night. you would never have imagined how some of their lives are. not when you don't even know much of the world yet and i certainly mean it. but i know learnt, a fair bit, last night. they said: welcome to the world! i thought: well..you guys are truly far ahead of me. and yes, they really are.

this is not the world. i just want to say that singapore is afterall a rather vibrant place.

that's about all. i'm exhausted typing. so goodbye people!

one said: know what you want in life, go for it and do not fear failure. that's what he did, unregretfully and he told me to do that same.

haha i'm feeling the heat from blocks. GP and Physics papers and duration were absolutely tormentous. Well, i simply collapsed on my bed upon reaching home after the Physics paper. Physics was tough, in the sense where time is a major determinant. Likewise, i thought GP wasn't easy too. Initially, i was rather impressed with the performance of my essay, only to realise eventually that style and language often fails to obscure the lack of content and argumentative flow in my essay. it's okay, they're both behind me now.

i don't like it when time flies, life progresses, people change... if anything that i wish for would come true, i hope i can remain in my saccharine childhood and teens, with friends and certain people who mean a dear lot to me as companions.

okay that's just a little portion of what i have in mind, as earlier mentioned. bye!

something random: did you have a childhood sweetheart?

sorry handsome, i don't entertain malicious remarks. if you do have that urge, please let me know who you are. i'm not angry, really and i really want to know your identity.

i don't want to grow up because there're so many things to cherish now, before the calamitous eighteen falls upon us. jc life will be one of those - with all the love, friendships and ties. i talk about it another day because i've really a plenty to say.

good night and good luck

big guys don't cry

tell you what. i've gradually, upon certain friends' prompting, realised a flaw in myself. i have always been too persistent, or say stubborn over this idea of the "one and only". if anything were to be caught by my interest or desire, i would not hesitate to close all options(haha of course the good thing is i won't have any opportunity cost). i remember the younger days, when i wanted some "one and only" so much that i could cry on my mum's pants, i missed out on many other comparable things, be it the almost identical or far different ones. i reckon this isnt a really bad idea. but sometimes being too ardent on certain things and refusing to widen the range of options can be unhealthy. well, detractors can too argue that it's only right to focus on something of your utmost interest. i don't know. maybe my idea of "one and only" was very much a radical one.


anyways, i realised my blog update rates are getting lower. i'm going to buck up on that. well, it's one more day to the much-dreaded blocks. while i can jolly well wish everyone a hackneyed piece of "good wishes/luck", i hope that it'll be the hardwork and efforts that's going to take you through the blocks fine. so people, study hard and don't foolishly wait for free pies to fall from the sky.


recently, revisions in school have been rather interesting, esp due the ppl around. reading room is turning into a market. well you have got to be going to there to experience how ridiculous the supposedly conducive reading room have turned out to be.


anyways, attached are some random pictures taken with aran today:

the alien series returns

this is just simply retarded

i need to wake up


he loves swearing:D

haha that's it. holland's up against the russians soon. i will blog during blocks. take good care of yourselves people!


all that you see is me
and all I truly believe
that I was born to try
i've learned to love

Preposterous. I don't even know how to put it in words.

I'll update another time, real soon. bye and take good care of your lives:D

well it's about 10 mins to the france vs italy showdown(if the quality of football can live up to the reputation of the sides). by the time i complete my draft, the matched would have probably begun. fingers crossed.

actually, i didnt stay up this late. i just woke up. somehow i dozed off after dinner at about 8pm and fatigue simply carried me through till now. i feel refreshed and enraptured. the latter's probably due to the imminent match that's coming up.

these couple of days' revision has been, i would say rather, efficient. i thought when it comes to revision, foundation mattered a lot and i think it's certainly benefitted me in certain ways(in no way implying i've got an absolutely solid foundation). this is perhaps why integrated programme hasnt failed that much. 4 years of preparation will culminate in a successful block test and eventually the advanced levels, hopefully:D

anyways, it was pretty distractive these days, due to many other things.

match's on now. catch up soon. bye!

when things are complex, don't think too much. just be who you are and do what you do.

i'm going to update. but as a matter of fact, blogging sometimes is really tedious(which hugely turns me off), especially when dealing with pictures.

quite a few things have happened since wednesday. some are delectable, while others are dreadful. well i don't complain about them. it's about time to learn to accept and live with many things of these kinds. sometimes, we celebrate good things. other times, we've gotta learn to manage/tackle problems. that is life, isnt it.

i was a little disparaged by the progress of my knee - anterior cruciate ligament & meniscus in specifics. i'm happy with the healing and comfort of my acl, but good things don't happen all at once. meniscus is failing me. as suggested by yiming, he brought me to visit a somehow renowned chinese physician for an examination and of course, an acupuncture treatment. initially, i thought she was criss angel, medically(i'm certainly not discrediting her professionalism and masterclass). according to dear yiming, his medial collateral ligament pull was rectified by her on the spot with momentary pain but minimal discomfort. well, i must say she has an abounding knowledge of joints and ligaments. but even the brilliant she had to admit that there's nothing much she could do about my meniscus. it's healing's gotta take place naturally. there arent any ways to accelerate the recovery. neither are there any methods to ensure that it definitely heals. well time heals. everything haha.

thursday was a day of studying. to summarise, it wasnt a very pleasant day i guess. some pictures taken randomly:

hmm beyond that, the nascent council had manyue to celebrate our one month birth. other than the unforgettable navigation to track down weiling's condo, i thought everything was crazily fun. pictures will be up when i acquire them from others.

yea that's about all i'm bringing. take good care. :D

everything will turn out in the most positive manner, hopefully.

i want to blog. but i dont blog about emotions. my rule. yea.

something about today: yaze and i went to a*star to do PW survey. it was pretty yielding with 7 responses. by the way, my PW is on Transmission Electron Miscroscopy. some photos to follow(just to preempt, they're uninteresting):

that's it guys, till i have something pressing to share. take care:D

reciprocating isnt that hard, is it? no.

hey, you know as i watched SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, i had a great time laughing. some of the dancers out there are just totally ridiculous. however, i was more interested in the different styles & genres of dance. but it's really hard trying to figure out different genres of music and dance though i went wikipedia searching for answers. you know even under hip hop, there are so many different genres classified by musical style, chronology, regional origins etc. nvm that, i'll be enlightened one day. well i just think dancing's real cool and i'd love it.

for now, i havent got anything pressing to address. so till when i have, we'll take a break.

hello.

i havent got much to impress upon(unlike the previous post) after returning from an ECACO stayover at jolyn's. but i did make an observation about something that's well celebrated by youths in the modern society - liberalism. don't you find it trite when people talked about sex? i'm sure parents and elder back in the 80s and earlier didnt. however we do because of the revolutionary societal changes in culture, belief etc. in the twenty-first century. no one is now reserved or shy on topics that were once regarded as the untouchables. the bottomline is re-drawn. the once discreet and not-to-be-discoursed ideas and issues are now actively debated, if not celebrated. well youths may embrace such openness, but at the end of it all, how is this going implicate the future generations? that's a food for thought. btw, such a thought was induced by the incessant "jokes" cracked during the ECACO stayover. guys, i think you know what i'm driving at:P

hmm back to my life, the stayover was fun. we cooked for ourselves. then swam and watched Final Destination 3(ABSOLUTE JUNK). anyways, frankly speaking, i dun really fancy giving daily reports about the happenings in my ever-fantastic life. so let pictures do the talking:

okay last one looks the coolest.

well that's all. bye people!

waiting isnt such a torturous thing if you carry a normal & light heart.

i remember someone said that he wanted a great team but not a team of great individuals. i concur, with my fullest genuine belief. i don't think a group of great individuals can write history better than a great team(perhaps made of the most ordinary of members). i've never believed that a great team is a simple mixture of members with extraordinary ability and talent. yes, a great team often comprises outstanding individuals, but the presence of the latter isnt why great teams emerge. in football, i talk about arsenal. for a while through this season, i was in awe of their team spirit. TEAM SPIRIT isnt just a casual term. it isnt just about playing together(waiting for spiritual belongings to each other to manifest), eating together, saying a whoosh, high fiving. it's really about fighting(and i mean fighting) for and believing in each other in times of adversity to achieve a common goal-a target that's going to benefit the TEAM first, not/then oneself. i saw that in the arsenal outfit, for quite a while. but it hasnt been the case for most other teams, be it in football or any other walks of life. i've been seeing countless ludicrous individuals who fought for personal glory, cash, admiration and whatever but the team. are you not just making use/taking advantage of the "team" by being in it so as to achieve what you desired which is possibly far from what it takes for the team to succeed? i think many people need to ponder about that. i've seen so much and it's a shame. a team is great because there no longer are individuals(physically of course, but mentally and spiritually), but instead one entity, with the same aspirations and a common goal. that's really just how i thought about it after i've been seeing so much trash talking about teamwork in the papers, around me etc. trust me, only GREAT TEAMS succeed.(in the arena where team is relevant of course) i'm convinced there've been/are great teams around nevertheless. i guess it isnt as pathetic as i sounded. i'd just love to be part of one of those, if i'm at all qualified. the end.

[picture of remember the titans; but url spoilt]

i caught up with high school friends today - yiming, jingx, ivanho. we had steamboat at bugis. it was heartwarming. more cool photos following yesterday's:

well yea that's it. i took a while to get this posted though. bye!

i'm cool about things as they are. let's see how it goes. time helps.

hi all, i've just dined. it probably is gonna take me a while to digest all the junk i've consumed. that's definitely not how healthy living goes.


i spoke to a mate a while before my dinner. we talked, or rather lamented about the general paper (gp). he's been flunking his gp, so have i. so what exactly is the problem? according to him, his tutor found his arguments unacceptable because they were too original and creative. well, i always thought a good essay is one that is idiosyncratic to oneself and well..new(word bank's draining)! paradoxically, this is what gp education, or generally eduction is not looking for. in gp, we are expected to write in a manner that is logical(i guess this isnt contentious), CONVENTIONAL and mundane. examples required are those from mindless news. in fact, we arent really arguing. we are just stating/regurgitating what the majority might potentially argue or have contended before. then, i've raised this to my tutor(just as an equiry because this isn't going to change overnight for people like you and i who're right under the roof top of education conformity), and i believe so might have some of those out there. the replies would have been: this is just how the system works or if you wanna your A, write in the GPish way. very well then, friend(the one mentioned above), i guess we've just gotta adapt and start getting our As back. that route begins with...passing gp.



i liked today. i was out with ivanho in the afternoon revising for block tests. for two guys, we talked a lot. frankly, i've truly enjoyed his companionship. some cool photos to share:

well guys, that's about all. oh i plan to change the way i blog. the way i've been blogging has been really casual. it's about time to the style, but it'll be a gradual process.

psychedelically yours(i'll just end off with my blog header if i havent got any discreet things to address)

i'm feeling extraordinarily enthusiastic about my blog, as of now. fingers crossed on how i'm gonna sustain this.

well i just got up, probably because yesterday was hell of a day. before i kick off my revision, i've gotta get some food, even though it JUST started raining and i'm too beat to get up from my chair.

that's all for now, will catch up with more later tonight i guess. see you!

"...make sure you don't let whatever you don't have take over whatever you have." i suppose i still did and it's really complex now haha

well i'm back at this thing at last. i was lazy, for sure. i wasnt really against setting up a blog, just that i couldnt find the impetus to create something out of nothing. haha forget it anyways, guess who's back, i'm.

hmm i dun really wish to comment on the design, header or whatsoever. purple is seemingly gay, i understand. however, i just thought this is an truly interesting piece of design and i name it psychedelically yours - kinda weird right? well i plan to customize the design though, in photoshop. nevertheless, i will retain the general style and feel of the current design - psychedelic, if you feel the same way.

if you are a blogger(one who owns a blog) and are reading my blog right now, i wouldnt mind if you leave your initials and blog add on the tag so that i can expand my "Friends" column. sorry, i'm a little lazy hopping around for addresses.

oh i went to school today to clean up council room. dude~~~, not cool! hahaha john

"it started out as a feeling, which then grew into a hope" the call by regina spektor is good.

i'm going to sleep soon, i guess. take care guys!